The Bamboozler
by Revengent
Summary: Doctor Chris Taub isn't all that he seems. What people don't know is that he leads a second life as The Bamboozler, Princeton's super hero. Humor, obviously.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes. I'm serious. Taub is a superhero. I got this crazy idea when bouncing ideas off of RemyTheReaper. LOL So this is complete humor/crackfic, so don't take anything I say too seriously. I don't think Taub is fighting crime. :) I actaully have a plot worked out, so there's more to come. So let me know what you all think, because I like reviews :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own House. If I did...you don't want to know what would happen. LOL**

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He always wanted a simple life, but he would never have that.

Taub silently cursed as he sped through the back alleys of Princeton, shrugging off his top layer of clothes as he went. He hadn't done this in awhile, and he wondered if he would soon regret it. Before he had flown off in a rush, Taub had been sitting in his car, listening to the amplified voices of the city as a way to pass the time as he sat in traffic.

He did not see it as eavesdropping; it was a way that Taub could be sure that all was safe in the city of Princeton. Of course, the city always had some trouble or crime afoot, but it was usually nothing that the police could not handle on their own. Taub recognized the fact that he wasn't always needed, and he had to give the city a chance to strive on its own.

Until something gave him a reason to act on his impulses. Just like now; Taub's super sensitive ears had perked up when he heard the sounds of a scuffle amongst the bustling city noise. It was just another person getting mugged; it was nothing new in New Jersey. Taub had shook his head as if he was trying to rid himself of the muffled sounds of the person getting robbed and gripped his steering wheel tighter as he fought his will not to go.

But when the man who was getting robbed made a desperate plea for help, Taub recognized the voice, and without a second thought, he pulled over his car to the side of the road and got out, and then darted though the rush hour traffic in order to help the person in need.

As Taub rounded the corner and pulled on his mask over his eyes, he thought of all the things he had learned. Rule number four: You can't save everybody.

But you sure as hell try.

"Stop!" Taub yelled as he stood in the opening of the alley with his hands on his hips with his cape billowing behind him. He made quite an appearance; the morning sun made his shadow run along the ground and high up the wall, making him seem taller than he really was. He hoped he was intimidating as he felt.

There, about ten feet away, was a man with matted blonde hair and buck teeth, holding Kutner against the murky brick wall with a knife to the frightened doctor's throat. Kutner had his hands held up in defense, but was now looking at Taub who was slowly walking towards them.

"Who are you, freak?" the grungy man spat. Kutner looked like he was about to faint.

Taub smiled. "I'm here to stop you," he said, gesturing towards the man.

The man laughed, looking over his shoulder but keeping the knife pressed against Kutner's throat. "Oh wait! Aren't you that one guy…the superhero? What's your name…?"

"The Bamboozler," Kutner chimed. Both Taub and the other man glanced over to Kutner, who shrugged. "I'm a big fan."

The man shook his head and then looked back over to Taub, or rather, his alter ego The Bamboozler. "Right. So what are you going to do?" the man snarled.

Taub took a deep breath and was about to tell this criminal was he was going to do. However, before Taub could begin to threaten him, the man lunged forward with his knife and ferociously cut at Taub's shoulder. Taub tried dodging the crazy man, but he ended up feeling a stinging slash at his shoulder. He looked down to see some of his shoulder exposed and blood running freely from the gash.

Rule number fourteen: Remember that you can in fact still bleed.

The man stood in front of Taub, ready to fight some more. Kutner was now forgotten and was slumped against the wall on the ground, watching the action take place.

"You sure you want to do this?" Taub asked.

The man laughed and lunged at Taub again, but this time Taub held his hands in front of him. The man seemed to stop in mid-stride and then froze, unable to move. He looked desperately up at Taub, who was grinning above him as he continued to struggle to stand upright.

"What the hell?" the man exclaimed.

Taub grabbed the man by the collar and held him up so he could look at him face-to-face. "Next time, don't doubt me. Make sure you tell your friends."

And with that, Taub threw the man without any effort into the dumpster that was against the wall. He took a second to smile at his accomplishments, but then remembered one important detail.

Kutner.

Worried that rule number three (Don't let your identity be known) was about to be violated, Taub began to back away.

"Wait!" Kutner yelled, stumbling to stand up, "I want to talk to you!"

Taub grunted as he stood there on the spot. Damn rule number twenty-five: Be good to your fans. How would it look if he tried to escape from the person that he had just saved? So Taub just stood there helplessly and straightened his posture, bringing himself to his full five feet and five inches, while Kutner jogged over to Taub.

"Are you okay?" Taub asked in a deeper voice than his normal tone, hoping that Kutner would not recognize him.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine!" Kutner stood staring agape at Taub with child-like fascination. "It's so cool to actually meet you Mr. Bamboozler! Can I call you that? My name's Lawrence Kutner," Kutner said, holding out a hand.

Taub took Kutner's hand in his and gave it a friendly handshake. So far, it seemed that Kutner did not recognize Taub. Which was good.

"Um…"

"Yes?" Taub asked.

"Are you okay? I mean…your shoulder…" Kutner pointed to Taub's bleeding shoulder which was now soaked through his suit. "I'm a doctor; I can look at that for you."

"Oh n-no, it's okay. There's no need to-," Taub stuttered, holding up his hands to block Kutner.

"Come on, it looks like you're going to need stitches," Kutner said excitedly. "I can take you to the hospital-,"

"No."

"Oh, okay…"

Taub sighed. "Hey, nice meeting you Lawrence, but I have to go. Be sure to call the police soon, before that guy wakes up," he said, gesturing to the dumpster where the guy that had threatened Kutner was still out cold in the piles of assorted garbage. Taub then turned around and ran away from Kutner, leaving his co-worker yelling, "Thanks!" behind him.

--

Two hours after the confrontation with Kutner, Taub flung open the door to the diagnostics office. He was very disgruntled; after leaving the scene he had to go and retrieve his normal clothes, change into them leaving his super-suit off, and then he had to go back to his car and drive to the hospital. Then he had to slip past House and the others on his way to the ER, and make up some insane story for Cameron about how he had gotten clipped by a bicyclist so he could explain why he had a cut on his shoulder. Cameron then had to apply eighteen stitches to his shoulder, and then he had to go change again into a blood free shirt.

Taub flopped into the seat next to Kutner, who had his head propped up on his fist and was busy reading something on his laptop. Thirteen was sitting across from Kutner, working on a crossword puzzle that Foreman had not finished yet. Thankfully, neither had questioned Taub's tardiness.

Taub poured himself some coffee and read over Kutner's shoulder while consuming some of the much needed caffeine, but then choked when he saw what was on Kutner's computer screen. It was a picture of him, clad in The Bamboozler's uniform.

"W-what are you looking at?" Taub asked.

"Taub! You won't believe what happened to me this morning! I got saved by The Bamboozler!" Kutner said, pointing to the computer screen at Taub's alter ego.

"Oh…really?" Taub said weakly. He held his mug with both hands to keep the mug from spilling due to his nervous shaking.

Thirteen rolled her eyes. "I told him that he doesn't exist."

"But he does!" Kutner protested.

"Yes, just like the Loch Ness Monster."

The three doctors turned to see House walk in, followed by Foreman. Foreman turned a chair around backwards and sat in it, facing Kutner while House lazily leaned against the whiteboard.

"So what's this I hear about Kutner getting saved by some super hero?" House asked. "It's spreading through the hospital like wildfire."

Kutner jumped up, eager to explain what had happened to him earlier. "So there I was, walking down the street on my way to the bus stop-,"

"You ride a bus?" Taub asked, hoping he could change the subject. However, there was no changing Kutner's one-track mind.

"Yes. But anyway, I was there and all the sudden this guy came up to me, he smelled really bad by the way, and he told me to give him my wallet."

"So what did you do?" Foreman asked.

"I said no. So then they guy pushed me into this alley and he started to beat me up. Then he told me that, 'I was going to be sorry I refused,' and he took out this huge knife!" Kutner said, brandishing a pen like a knife. He then went over to Taub and playfully pressed the pen against Taub's throat, casing Taub to flinch. "The guy had me pinned against the wall and had the knife to my throat, just like this! I thought I was done for, but then _he_ came."

Taub scoffed and swatted away Kutner's hand. Kutner was exaggerating; the knife wasn't that incredibly huge. But then again, his shoulder was hurting pretty badly from the damage that he had taken from it. Taub wondered if he could get away with stealing a Vicodin from House.

"It was so awesome!" Kutner exclaimed. "The evil guy was all like, 'What are you going to do?' and The Bamboozler was trying to be all civil and stuff, but the guy went up and gave him this really nasty cut on his shoulder. I hope he's okay…"

"He doesn't sound that much of a hero to me," House said.

Taub stiffened and gripped his mug tighter.

"But he is!" Kutner insisted. "After the guy attacked him, he put his arms out like this," Kutner explained as he held out his arms in front of him like Taub had done earlier, "and then BAM! The guy just froze! No kidding! And then The Bamboozler grabbed the guy by the collar and threw him into the dumpster!"

"Wow!" Foreman said.

"I've never seen him. But I guess your story has some interest," House said, trying to seem not as impressed as he was.

"He hasn't had a lot of public attention lately. But I found some stuff about him online." Kutner sat back down in his seat. "Listen to this." Kutner cleared his throat and began reading from the computer screen. "The Bamboozler was first seen in New York in September of 1996. Nobody knows where he came from or how he obtained his powers. It has been speculated that The Bamboozler is from another planet, due to his amazing abilities."

Taub laughed to himself. Ridiculous; from another planet. Ha.

Kutner continued. "The Bamboozler is known for his trademark black mask that covers his eyes and some of his face, leaving his identity shrouded in mystery." Kutner moved his laptop so the others could see. Foreman, House, and now even Thirteen was hovering next to Kutner so they could get a good look at the picture. Taub glanced at the screen so he would not seem suspicious.

The picture had been taken about ten years ago. It was a nice picture, Taub actually remembered that day it was taken. He was standing in the center of the frame, with his heroic pose and teal cape slightly being blown by the breeze, to give him the full effect of the versatility of usefulness of the cape. As for his suit – it was a super suit, not a costume as rule number thirty-one stated – he still had the same one. He had the teal colored cape, but the body of the suit was black, with teal boots and belt. The black was flattering, Taub thought. (Rule number ten: If you're going to wear spandex, look good in it.) And in the center of his chest was his crest written in teal and white, a simple teal "beta" symbol with a white star as a background.

"I think he looks pompous," Thirteen said.

"No, he's humble," Kutner argued, and then he continued to read the article. "The Bamboozler gets his name from the fact that he is able to stump his opponents with his confounding skills, leaving them questioning every move they make, always unsure how he will alter their reality. The super powers of The Bamboozler vary. The Bamboozler had super senses. He is able to hear things that are far away that a normal person could not hear and has enhanced eyesight, making him have extra-sharp vision. Another one of The Bamboozler's useful powers is the ability to manipulate pheromones. For those of you that do not know, pheromones are hormones that your body secretes that signify emotions and triggers natural behavioral responses. By manipulating pheromones, The Bamboozler is able to sense one's emotions and change them in a tense situation. For example, if there was a person that was fixing to jump off of a ten story building, The Bamboozler would be able to control the person's emotions and try to coax the person away from their suicide. The Bamboozler is often dubbed as, "The Ladies Man" for his ability to make women swoon by his unspoken ways of knowing a way around a person."

"Go Bamboozler. Get those damsels in distress," House said.

Taub's legs felt like rubber and could hardly sit down, and he hoped that nobody would notice his deep blush spreading across his face.

"However," Kutner said, continuing where he had left off, "pheromone manipulation does not always work in some cases. That is where perhaps The Bamboozler's most useful skill comes into play. He has the ability to change the strength of force around him. By changing the force in something, it changes the strength of gravity, therefore making something heavier or lighter, in simple terms. By doing this, The Bamboozler can lift things that would normally be way too heavy, or sometimes he has been known to change the force on himself so can make tall, bounding leaps or speed to somewhere fast."

Kutner looked up. "So I guess that's what he did to that guy today. The Bamboozler must have changed the force on the guy, so it made it hard for the guy to move, and then he changed it again so he could toss the guy so easily."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Kutner went back to reading from the screen. "Other skills, but not as note worthy, are The Bamboozler's skills of perfect pitch and photographic memory."

Taub frowned. He thought that perfect pitch was note worthy. He was awesome at karaoke.

"The Bamboozler is often an unsung hero. He has accomplished many things, saved many people and helps in any way that he can. He is also known for his persistence for others to function without him, not because he does not want to help, oh no. It is because he wants to prepare the city for any trouble ahead that he may not be around for or cannot do anything about, he has often been cited. He wants to teach the inner strength that is in each of us, and he wants us to try to get along without him. He does not wished to be praised for his work, he is just doing what "any good person would do" in this situation.

"However, The Bamboozler never slides into the darkness; he usually comes in for a heroic feat, then leaves. When he does get confronted by fans though, he is very courteous and will answer to some questions.

"I will end this article with a quote from The Bamboozler himself. "I do not do this for me, I do it for you. I got these powers as a gift, and I will use them in the best way possible."

_Did I really say that?_ Taub thought. _That's cheesy._

"I do have to admit Kutner, he does sound pretty awesome," Thirteen said.

"I told you so." Kutner closed his laptop. "I'm going to try to meet him again."

"What are you going to do? Stand on a roof and hope your lover comes to swoon you, Lois Lane?" House mocked.

"No. I'm…going to call him. He has super hearing, right? So he should hear when I call for him," Kutner said logically.

Taub shook his head. "He probably won't hear you. The Bamboozler can tune the super hearing out when he doesn't want to hear it all."

"How do you know?"

"Uh…" Taub stammered trying to explain himself while all of his co-workers stared at him. "I used to live in New York when he was really popular. We all knew about him. And I met him. Once. He had to, uh, drop someone off at the hospital and I was working there at the time."

"That's neat. Imagine him walking into the Princeton Plainsboro ER," Foreman mused.

"Kutner would have a heart attack," House said.

Kutner fiddled with his lab coat, ignoring House's comments about his obsession about the super hero.

"Anyways…we have a case." House threw the files into the middle of the table, and each of the other doctors grabbed one of the files. Taub was thankful for a change of subject, but he could still hear Kutner talking excitedly to Thirteen.

Taub sighed, knowing that it was going to be a long day.

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**I'm thinking about sketching out his suit so ya'll can get an idea of what I'm talking about. LOL And the next chapter you'll find out how Taub got his powers :)**

**So...what did you think?**

**:) Rev**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I finally updated this. Yay! Okay, so the science part of this I am kind of making up and stretching, but you know, superhero things never really make much sense. And sorry, no House or anyone else from the team in this chapter, but they will return in the next one!**

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After a long, tiring day, Taub finally arrived at his home. The case that they had had that day proved to be challenging with all sorts of symptoms, and it turned out to all be due to a simple sinus infection and everything could be cured with antibiotics. Not only was his work day hectic, but Chris Taub's injured shoulder had been killing him all day, making him wince every time he moved his arm too quickly. And of course, Kutner would not shut up about his encounter with The Bamboozler, making Taub uncomfortable, the whole time fearing that Kutner would figure out that the superhero he admired and the plastic surgeon were the same person.

It was an annoying day indeed.

Sighing and shutting his front door behind him, Taub walked quietly in the dark so he would not wake his wife; but it was no use.

Rachel Taub flicked on the lamp next to her, illuminating Taub's mid-way trek to the bedroom. His wife was sitting in the recliner in her pink fuzzy robe, arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

"Hey," Taub said, trying to sound surprised and nonchalant. Something was wrong, but he didn't know what. "Why are you waiting up?"

"It's past one in the morning," Rachel stated. "You missed dinner."

"Uh…sorry?" Taub bit his bottom lip, trying to think of something to say. "Aren't you used to that by now? I am a doctor you know…"

"Yes, I know that!" Rachel snapped. She picked up the remote and flicked on the television, Taub experiencing the sinking feeling of knowing what was coming.

There on their living room television was a still picture of him, as The Bamboozler on the screen, and even though the sound was muted, Taub could tell that the news program was talking about him and his heroics from today.

Taub smiled weakly. "Yes…?"

"Chris. We talked about this."

"Yes. Yes, we did."

"And we decided that you wouldn't do this," Rachel said, making wavy motions with her hands, "anymore."

"B-but, it was a friend, and I had to-," Taub stammered, but his wife interrupted him.

"And you just happened to have your costume with you?"

"It's a super suit!" Taub yelled. Why does everybody insist that it's a costume? Rule number thirty-one clearly states that it is not.

"Whatever." Rachel shook her head and looked away from Taub to the television. A reporter was now standing in an alley that Taub recognized to be the one where The Bamboozler had had the encounter today.

"It's not my fault," Taub said quietly, looking at the floor. "Just when somebody's in trouble, I have this…this urge to go and help them. It's been really hard to not help everybody I see or hear that is in danger. I guess that's why I like this job at Princeton so much. It's somewhere where I can actually help people when they need it instead of fixing up rich people that have no self confidence."

"Chris…don't…"

"No. We decided that it would be best for me to stop going around as the superhero so it wouldn't endanger you or other people that are connected to me. Because you know the villains always come after the people that the hero loves." Taub squinted his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Rule number two: Don't let the evil people use the ones you love against you. And sadly, it always happened with superheroes. The girl would always be kidnapped or something, and then the villain would use them to lead the hero to their lair for the big epic battle. "Even though I've never had an arch-nemesis…"

Rachel chuckled. "Do you want one? Because maybe I could arrange for that."

"No thanks."

Rachel stood up and shuffled across the floor and shyly looked up at her husband and placed her hands on his chest. "I'm sorry, it's just-,"

"I know."

"And I know it's what you want to do, but you know how I feel-,"

"I know."

"And I do love you-,"

"And I love you too," Taub said, brushing a strand of blonde hair of out his wife's face. "But _I had _to."

"That's what you always say."

"Well, I haven't gotten media attention in what...three years or so?"

Rachel shrugged. "But now, everyone's going to be all hyped up again…"

"Let them be hyped up."

"You like it," Rachel said, playfully punching Taub on the shoulder. Taub gritted his teeth, his cut still painful. Rachel's entire demeanor changed; she had been lightening up a bit, but she had returned to anger again. Taub could sense it.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little cut." Taub looked over as Rachel unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the nasty slash that the man had given him from earlier today. Rachel sighed and shook her head.

"That's another reason why we decided it was best for you to retire. I got tired of you coming home with all of these injuries that I had to clean up."

"That's to be expected. And I had got to the point where I would rarely get hurt," Taub pointed out.

"Yeah. Rarely." Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Fine."

"Fine what?"

"It's okay if you want to go off and…be a super hero. Just don't let it consume your life, 'kay?"

Taub grinned. "Yes, of course!"

"And make sure that you don't get too hurt, okay?"

"That's my plan." Because you know, that's rule number twenty: Stay alive.

---

Later that night, Taub was wide awake in his bed with his wife snuggled into the crook of his arm fast asleep. It was such a relief to know that Rachel now allowed him to return to his superhero lifestyle. Well, not _allow_ per se; Taub could have done whatever he wanted to do, but it felt better to have his wife agree that it was okay for him to start back his other, more risky job.

Actually, now that Taub thought about it, he didn't know which job was more dangerous; the one as The Bamboozler or one as a doctor on House's team. Sure, as The Bamboozler, he faced criminals and situations that he wouldn't encounter as a doctor, but on House's team he had the possibility of getting arrested by the things that House made him and the other doctors do. Either way, they both were interesting and never left him with a boring day.

Taub thought back to when he first acquired his special powers. He was not born with them as many had speculated, and he did not come from another planet as the majority of people thought. His mom and dad were humans, from planet Earth. Not Krypton. And there were no such things as Mutants, and Taub wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider either. He was just a normal guy, until that one day.

It was like any other day on that fateful July afternoon in the year 1996 – the year slap bracelets were the raging style and the popularity of CD's were on the rise. Chris was the young age of twenty-five, in the stretch of completing his medical degree and was engaged to the love of his life. Everything was great.

Or so it seemed.

Chris had been studying abroad in Germany during the summer as an extra boost in his medical program. He had thought that he would have loved studying in another country, but the truth was that he hated it. Not many people spoke English, and the ones that did would snub you once they found out you were an American. Transportation was a joke, he had no money, the hotel room smelled weird and the classes were hard. Chris was miserable, and wished he had listened to Rachel when she had said that he wouldn't like it over there.

Two nights before they were set to leave, the rest of the group that was with Chris decided to go out and have one last drunken night before they headed back to America. Chris didn't want to go, but Marcus, Chris's roommate, convinced him to go. "You deserve a break. Get your big nose out of those books," Marcus had said. Chris eventually agreed to go along; he guessed it wouldn't be _that_ bad. The beer was cheap and he was not going to let Marcus get away with criticizing his nose without buying him some drinks.

But that night _did_ go wrong. It turns out that the bar that the group had ended up going to was being used for an unlicensed pornography studio. (He couldn't remember that much, but Chris has this feeling that he did end up being in some obscure German porno as a confused tourist. Ironic.) The group, including Marcus, ran out as soon as the police arrived, leaving Chris to wonder around drunk in the unfamiliar streets by himself.

Before he knew it, Chris was outside of some large mysterious building. Even though the building had an essence that it wouldn't be a good idea to enter, Chris did anyway. Maybe it was the booze, maybe he never learned that trespassing in strange buildings never ended up with a good conclusion. But hey, the building was open, so why not find out what was in there?

The room was dark, and Chris could hear his footsteps echoing throughout the room. He felt against the wall, looking for a light switch. Chuckling as he felt his fingertips brush across a switch, he looked around the room as the overhead lights slowly flickered on.

In the center of the room was a platform with bars hanging from the ceiling with chains dangling down, as well as chains rooted to the floor of the platform. To the right, there was a sealed glass chamber with what looked like a control panel inside, and looking up, Chris saw a huge propeller that was right above the platform with the chains, and there were some unidentifiable steel rods that ran from the ceiling to the floor of the platform.

Closing his eyes, Chris took a deep breath. Okay, so the chains were obviously for a human, or some other living being, and this was some kind of experimental science laboratory. If he quickly turned around, he could just get out of there…

But of course, he had to do something stupid. Like tripping and falling against the wall, hitting several switches on the wall. Horrified, Chris turned around to see the propeller on the ceiling beginning to turn. He stumbled to stand up, and tried to open the door, but it was no use in trying – it was locked.

Thinking quickly, Chris ran towards the glass chamber, but when he got halfway there, he felt his body resisting his forward movement. Instead, he felt himself being pulled backwards towards the platform in the center of the room, and then tried using all of his strength to force himself away from the possible death trap. However, after a few seconds of struggling, he lost hope and let the force that was being made by the spinning propeller drag him to the center of the room.

As soon as Chris got to the platform, the chains bound around his wrists and ankles, and to his extreme disappointment, the unidentifiable steel rods turned out to be charged with electricity, and began to shock him.

_Well, this is an interesting way to die_, were the last things that Chris thought before he drifted off to nothingness due to the pain racking his body.

The next morning Chris groaned as he opened his eyes to find out that it had not all been a dream; he was slumped on the floor of the platform. It took a second to realize that he was in fact alive and not fried by electricity, but then he doubled over in pain that radiated throughout his body. Grimacing, Chris looked up and noticed something he had not seen the night before. Dragging himself across the floor, Chris went to the small switchboard that was a few feet away from the platform.

Chris pulled himself to the switchboard, and looked over the controls. The most curious thing was a beaker of a liquid that was sitting awkwardly in a slot in the board, as though it wasn't supposed to fit there. He had no idea what that, or any of the other controls did, but he did rip off what he assumed were instructions in German that was taped to the side of the board, and took a sample of the liquid in a test tube that he found on the floor and stuck in a stopper that he also found thrown carelessly on the floor. Whoever this laboratory belonged to, they didn't do a good job at it.

Chris did manage to find his way back to the hotel room, and collapsed once Marcus let him inside the room. When asked where he had been, Chris threw the paper that he had taken from the room at Marcus.

Seeing how ill Chris seemed, Marcus called over some of the other members of the group and helped a shivering Chris into his bed. Shay, who had picked up some German while staying during the summer, translated the paper that Chris had given to Marcus.

It turned out that Chris had stumbled upon a particle accelerator, and by being on the platform, the subject would get their particles mixed around due to the high magnetic field and electricity of the equipment. Of course when asked, Chris denied that he had been a victim of the machine, because the way they explained it, he was lucky that he was still alive. Marcus announced that the mystery liquid was ether after he came back from the school's laboratory where he had gone to identify the substance. Shay said that from what the instructions said and where Chris said he had found the substance sitting, the high solvency of ether would intensify the particle accelerator's effects.

Hearing this, Chris threw up again. Thankfully, he was able to blame his sickness on a hangover and food poisoning.

Arriving home, Chris still felt odd from his encounter in Germany. Rachel asked what was wrong, but he insisted that it was nothing, he was just stressed. But weirder things started to happen. He could hear things that he normally wouldn't be able to hear and he swore that his vision was sharper than before. Chris didn't know if he was imagining things, but he also felt that he could _feel_ what people were thinking – like their emotions. Just by being in somebody's presence, he could feel their joy or anger radiating off of them.

Then something happened Chris couldn't ignore; he found out his ability to manipulate the force of the things around him. He discovered this by stopping his neighbor's crazed dog from attacking him. First, the Doberman was hurtling towards Chris and he put his hands up in defense, and the next thing he knew, the dog stopped in its tracks. Shocked and terrified, Chris ran all the way home and told everything to Rachel.

At first Rachel doubted her fiancé's story, but after he proved his powers to her by doing the same thing to their pet iguana that he had done to the neighbor's dog. Amazed and determined, Rachel helped Chris in his quest to help him refine and control his powers, leading to his ability to manipulate the pheromones of other people and made his power of being able to control the degree of the force around him into an art.

That September, Chris made his first appearance as The Bamboozler. He didn't even intend for it to happen…there had been a fire, and he knew that he could help. So he tied a piece of black cloth with eye holes cut out around his face to hide his identity, and the rest went from there.

And the rest of Chris's life fell back into order; he married Rachel that winter, and he graduated from medical school the next summer, and lived happily as a husband, doctor, and superhero.

And now, thirteen years later, Chris wondered if he could do it all again.

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**Reviews please? Thank you!**

**-Revengent**


	3. Chapter 3

**Long time no update, right? Well, this super long update makes up for the delay, right? :D Anyways, as usual, reviews and opinions are always welcomed with love!**

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After Taub's decision to come back into the spotlight as The Bamboozler, he had to adjust to some things. He had forgotten how tiring it would be to have to go out late at night to stop whatever evil was lurking in the city, and he had also forgotten how often he would be needed, although it was worth it seeing as how the crime rate had already gone down by twelve percent. He had forgotten how after he would stop a potential crime or help out someone in need, spectators and media would swarm, and since it had been many years since he had been a fulltime superhero, he was getting a lot of attraction from people. Not that was such a bad thing, although Taub was still a little shy from time to time.

But most of all, he had had forgotten the issue of having to explain his frequent disappearances throughout the day. Before, when he was a plastic surgeon, it wasn't as difficult because he was for the most part, free at many times throughout the day, but working with House was a different story. When they had a patient that was in extreme need of care and supervision, it was hard to leave without anybody else knowing and he would be gone for sometimes thirty, forty minutes at a time. It was kind of hard to tell people that were getting crushed with a car, "Sorry, I have to go. My boss will kill me if I don't check my patient's blood pressure."

So far it hasn't been that bad though. Thirteen and Kutner noticed more than House or Foreman, just because that they are around him more. Taub had been able to come up with legitimate excuses, blaming his sudden absences on marital problems or he would say that he was sick, but Taub felt as though most times they didn't buy it.

This is probably because of the conversation between House and Wilson that he had overheard. (Okay, listened in on. But they were on the other side of the wall in Wilson's office, and really, when you hear you name being thrown around, who doesn't listen? He just happens to be able to hear better than most people.) House suspected that Taub was having another affair with somebody, and that he had concluded that they had to be working at the hospital also. Wilson laughed, saying that House was grasping at straws. House said that _had_ to be what Taub was doing, he would always leave without a trace and without even saying he was going anywhere, and then when he would come back, he would always look disheveled. There's no other explanation, House said, in that excited voice he always got when he was trying to solve a puzzle of somebody's life. Wilson had begun to say something, but stopped and made a humming noise and said that it was possible, that Taub had done it before.

In his mind, Taub cursed, hoping that House wouldn't take his suspicion to Rachel. Because it was not true. House, being House, had figured out that Taub was being suspicious and was trying to find a reason why. Taub wasn't doing too well at rule number eighteen: Cover your tracks.

House had continued on, wondering _who_ Taub would be doing. Cameron? It wouldn't be Cuddy; Taub wouldn't go for the boss. Thirteen maybe? Wilson laughed at that, and said something about Kutner, but Taub didn't hear the rest of the conversation between his boss and the oncologist because honestly, he didn't want to know. He was embarrassed to know that others were even having a conversation about him like that.

--

It was a month after The Bamboozler had made his public re-appearance, and things at his job were going as there had been before. House had confronted Taub about why he would vanish for periods of time, but Taub just shrugged and said that maybe House was just missing him. House had intently started at Taub, and Taub glared back, determined not to break not matter how intimidated he was by House. Taub found it slightly funny that House, a normal guy with a bum leg, could scare him more than someone with a gun pointed right at him. But Taub couldn't do anything about House; however he _could_ confound the guy wielding a weapon into a stupor.

Even though people were suspicious about Chris Taub's random disappearances, thankfully no one connected them to The Bamboozler's sightings. Taub thought this was surprising, because with Kutner's overactive imagination and childlike excitement, Taub thought he would have to beat down accusations constantly from Kutner, claiming that Taub lived a double life as The Bamboozler. But the common thread of Taub's moments where he would be missing never connected to when The Bamboozler would do something in the city. Taub figured that it had never occurred to Kutner because would always be alerting the rest of the diagnostics staff what heroic deed The Bamboozler had just done when Taub would be slipping into the office, trying to be discreet as possible, coming from the mission that Kutner was telling the others. Kutner was update on all of The Bamboozler's activities, because he was determined to see the hero again and he got Twitter updates on his phone whenever there would be a spotting somewhere. Taub kind of felt odd and uncomfortable, because his co-worker was stalking his alter ego.

Today, the team were for the most part case-less, it had been one of those days where they spent a few hours in the clinic to appease Cuddy and then sit around the office for the rest of their time. House was asleep in his office, Foreman was helping Cameron out in the ER, and Kutner was reading the newspaper while Thirteen looked on from the seat next to him. Taub sat with his elbow on the table, face propped up against his fist, his common stance for sitting. He had excused himself from the office eight times today already, and was glad that today was a slow day at the hospital so he could focus more of his more heroic deeds. (Because being a doctor _is_ heroic too!)

Kutner turned a page in his newspaper, and Taub continued to stare at the front page of _The Princeton Times_. He was looking at himself, or more specifically, a picture of himself. It was from the yesterday when The Bamboozler had arrived on the scene of a bank robbery and he had single handedly disarmed the criminals, got the stolen goods back and let the captives free. The picture that was displayed on the front page was one where he was standing in front of the bank's front doors and reporters were asking him questions. That adventure away from the office took longer than others, and cost him several glares and questionable remarks from House.

"Hey Taub," Kutner said from behind the newspaper.

"Hmm?"

"You know who you look like?"

Taub froze. Here came the part where he had to start denying everything Kutner said, even though everything Kutner said would be true. How can people not see that he and The Bamboozler looked the same? The only thing concealing his identity was a mask and different personality. He always wondered how more people didn't see through his disguise.

He tried sensing Kutner's pheromones. Was that accusation? No. All that was there was excitement. That's all Taub ever sensed from Kutner.

Taub sighed and tried to remain calm. "No Kutner. Who do I look like?" The Bamboozler? That's preposterous!

Kutner folded back the paper so he could see Taub. Taub could feel his heart pounding in his chest, everything that he had worked to keep a secret was going to be exposed and he would have to spend all of his time being more careful to avoid actions that would further convince Kutner that he was Princeton's superhero…

"You look like Steve Carrell."

Taub couldn't help but laugh slightly in relief that Kutner didn't say that he looked like The Bamboozler. "I do?"

Kutner nodded. "Somewhat. Don't you think so?" he asked, looking at Thirteen.

Thirteen shrugged and took the newspaper from Kutner and folded it back so she could work on the crossword. "I guess." She looked up from her paper in shock. "What's a nine letter word for 'confuse'?"

"Bamboozle," Taub said, without missing a beat. Three milliseconds later he regretted it.

"Oh, like the The Bamboozler!" Kutner said gleefully.

"Yeah. Just like him," Thirteen muttered as she wrote in the word that Taub had supplied.

Taub sighed. Just he had thought that he had avoided the topic of him today, he had to go and bring himself up. He listened as Kutner started talking about how he _had_ to see The Bamboozler and how great he was. Taub got up from the table and messed with the stuff at the sink to keep Kutner and Thirteen from seeing that he was blushing. As he washed the coffee mugs, Taub repeated in his mind: _Rule number twenty-eight: Remain calm_, but no matter how many times he said it to himself, he found himself panicking every time The Bamboozler was mentioned. How many times would House have to see a picture of the cape-clad hero before he would realize that he was Taub?

_Remain calm. Remain calm. Remain calm, remain calm, remain calm._

"Taub!"

Taub was brought out of his worrisome thoughts. "Huh?"

"House said we can go," Thirteen said as she slung her messenger bag over her shoulder. Kutner had already gone, Taub assumed, because the office was empty except for Thirteen and himself. He hadn't even noticed what was happening around him because of his paranoia.

He walked down to the parking lot with Thirteen, talking with her about how they wished that every day were days like today when they didn't have a critical patient that they had to watch constantly and House wasn't making them break into people's homes. Taub stopped walking when he felt a certain familiar sensation: excitement.

And sure enough, looking across the parking lot, there was Kutner, sitting on the hood of his car. When Kutner saw them, he frantically waved them over.

"My car won't start," Kutner said as soon as Taub and Thirteen were in earshot. "I need to go home and then I can get my neighbor to come and tow it away. He owns a tow truck."

"Why don't you just call him from here?" Taub asked.

Kutner ignored Taub's question. "Can one of you give me a lift home? Thirteen?"

"Um…" Thirteen glanced to Taub. "I can't really…sorry Kutner. I have a date and…Taub lives closer to you anyway…"

Taub glanced over to Kutner, who had just had the sudden electric-like burst of the emotion jealousy. Taub was overwhelmed by it actually, because of the normal happiness that Kutner usually emitted had been wiped away in seconds. It was strange. Taub always liked being around Kutner because of the positivity that always accompanied him and Taub could just close his eyes and take in Kutner's cheerfulness and it would always make him feel less gloomy, even though sometimes Kutner's emotions could be extreme and smothering.

After a few seconds without saying anything, Kutner nodded and looked over to Taub sheepishly. "Do you mind?"

"No." Even though it was risky because it would give Kutner another opportunity to figure out who The Bamboozler really was, Taub wanted to investigate more about Kutner's jealousy.

"Awesome." Kutner hopped down from his car and began gathering his stuff, and Thirteen mouthed "Thank you" to Taub. Taub nodded and smiled, but at the same time was reading her emotions. Regret, maybe?

Taub shrugged. It didn't really matter, and he shouldn't be in Thirteen's business anyways.

When Kutner settled into Taub's passenger seat, Taub could sense Kutner's normal, extreme joy again, although when he really concentrated, Taub could still feel Kutner's envy. Turning on the ignition and looking behind, Taub backed out of the parking space and drove out of the parking lot.

Driving down a main road, Taub cleared his throat. "So um, what was wrong earlier?"

Kutner looked sideways at Taub. "Nothing. Can you open the sunroof?"

"No. There was definitely something going on back there. When Thirteen said that-" Taub stopped talking because the feeling of Kutner's happiness was sucked from the car and replaced with more depressing feelings. It seems as though he had hit a sensitive spot.

"It's nothing, really," Kutner said with a smile. If Taub wasn't able to know how Kutner was feeling, he would have believed him, although that wasn't the case.

"Do you like her?" Taub asked, point blank.

"Who, Thirteen? No."

Lies.

"Listen Kutner you can talk to me," Taub began. "You're got to-"

"Oh my God! That building's on fire!"

Sure enough, when Taub's vision followed where Kutner was pointing, there were flames engulfing a small store on the corner of the street. There wasn't a fire truck there yet and people were standing in the street pointing at the disaster along with others that were running out of the building. In his mind, Taub knew he had to do something, but he couldn't figure out how he could be there helping people and with Kutner at the same time.

But then he had an idea.

Taub pulled his car over to the side of the road. "Kutner, come on. They need doctors," he said jumping quickly out of the car. If he could lose Kutner, he would have enough time to slip away and change into his suit, fix the problem, and still be able to come back without Kutner ever figuring out that he had been gone.

Kutner ran over to where a couple were on the ground covered in soot and coughing from smoke inhalation, giving Taub the perfect opportunity to dash the other way down the alley next to the building that was on fire and make his transformation into The Bamboozler. He stripped off his work clothes, revealing his black and teal suit that was on underneath, slipped on the gloves over his hands, and secured the half mask over his face, his safety keeping his true identity unknown.

"Look, it's The Bamboozler!"

Taub felt the familiar pride swell up in him when the crowd cheered for his appearance at the scene and began taking action. Taking a quick glance over his shoulder, he saw Kutner standing in shock, overjoyed that he was seeing the superhero that he had been talking non-stop about for the past month.

Turning around and assessing the challenge he was facing, Taub took a deep breath before running into the burning building. Once inside, his eyes quickly darted around, looking for any sign of life that was still trapped inside in the flames. However, he couldn't see anything because the smoke was too thick and obscuring his vision and stinging his eyes.

"Hello?" Taub called. "Anyone there?"

He tried to call out again, but he coughed after breathing in too much smoke, gagging on his unspoken words. He hated fires. He couldn't do anything about fire, he couldn't put it out, he wasn't non-flammable and he couldn't manipulate the flames where they would do as he wanted. He was like a normal person in that respect, and he was aggravated at the moment that he didn't have some super cool pyrotechnic abilities.

Remain calm. Rule number twenty-eight_._

Taub focused, channeling all his attention on the powers that he did have and work to see if there was anyone else inside. He closed his eyes, taking in the essence of the air around him, trying to sense if anyone was there.

_Fear._ The most intense fear of all, the fear of death and sheer terror, the feeling that he sometimes felt Thirteen randomly have certain times of the day.

Taub rushed through the building covering his mouth with his hands and kicked open a door, knowing exactly where to look. He crouched down and scanned the room, and sighed when he found what he was looking for.

Walking slowly over to the little girl who couldn't be older that four, he put out his hand, offering for her to take it. She instead hugged her knees tighter and buried her face into her shoulder, making blonde curls fall forward covering her tear and dirt stained face.

Taub felt the girl's pain and fear, and edged closer. "It's okay, I'm here to help you." Taub tried to be as comforting and happy as he could to try and calm the girl's nerves and lighten her mood by manipulation. It seemed to be working because after a few seconds, the girl wiped her face and allowed herself to be picked up by Taub.

Holding the girl close and placing one hand on the back of her head so she would hide her face into his shoulder, Taub quickly observed the area for anyone else that may be inside. He didn't see of sense anyone, so he hurriedly made his way out of the building.

When Taub came out of the building, firemen went in right after him and a worried looking man was waiting anxiously outside but when he saw Taub, he let out a sigh of relief and held out his arms. Taub happily handed the little blonde haired girl over to her father.

"Thank you so much!" the man cried, rubbing his child's back.

"No problem." A with a courteous nod, Taub walked over to where many people's injuries were being treated by EMTs and Kutner. Carefully avoiding Kutner, Taub sidestepped over to where a police officer was chatting with someone that been in the building when the fire had started. Seeing Taub standing a few feet away, the officer excused himself and walked over to where he was waiting.

"It's good you were here to help out, The Bamboozler," the officer said, shaking Taub's gloved hand.

"No need to thank me," Taub said. "Just doing my civic duty."

"Of you hadn't a came when you did, that poor little girl would probably be dead."

Taub nodded and smiled and refrained from rolling his eyes. That's what they always said in some way or another; they couldn't have done it without him, someone would have gotten hurt if hadn't been there, they don't know what could have happened if he didn't show up. But three times out of ten, a normal person could do what he did, they were just too afraid. And it would take them longer. And had a bigger risk of death. So maybe there was some truth to what everyone said after all.

Leaving the officer with another "thank you" and handshake, Taub scanned the crowd, looking for the kid that had been trapped inside the fire. He wanted to make sure she was alright, but unfortunately he saw that she was sitting on a stretcher and Kutner was tending to her, holding an oxygen mask over her face and smiling, probably telling her some joke. Taub weighed his options, and decided to go over anyway. It was only a matter of time that Kutner would run over and attack him anyways.

"Hey there," Taub said, patting the girl on the head. She looked up and her eyes lit up, as well as Kutner's. It was hard to tell who was more excited seeing the superhero.

"Thank you for savin' me!" the girl said.

"No, _thank you._ I like doing this." Taub was honest about that. He did like what he did, and when it was a kid that he saved – either as The Bamboozler or as Dr. Taub – it felt more rewarding.

"Do you remember me?" Kutner asked.

Taub bit his lip. Ugh. The part of this job he didn't like. "Uh…Lawrence, right?" He hoped he was playing dumb enough.

Kutner grinned and brimmed with happiness and shifted foot to foot holding the oxygen mask in his hand. Taub mused to himself that Kutner might need that oxygen if he got too much happier because he was able to faint from excitement.

"Yeah, yeah! Lawrence Kutner!" Kutner held out his hand and Taub shook it, abiding by rule number twenty-eight. It had been the most helpful rule lately.

"You are just so awesome! I can't believe what you did in there, it was so brave! I was looking up some old articles about you and I read about the time where you coaxed that suicide boomer to hand over the detonator. Anyone else would have totally freaked out, but you remained so calm and cool, and…"

The whole time Kutner was babbling away, Taub kept nodding his head and thinking to himself of different excuses he could use to get away from Kutner's trap.

"Well, Lawrence it's been nice seeing you again, I'll-"

"Can you take a picture with me? So the people that work with me will believe that I saw you again?" Kutner reached into his jacket pocket and frowned. "Speaking of people I work with, where's Taub…?"

Taub felt his blood run cold, hoping, praying, that Kutner would not realize that his missing friend was standing right in front of him.

"Yeah! Picture! That's great!" Taub stood next to Kutner, standing on his tip toes trying to seem taller, doing anything to make sure he made himself as different as possible. Kutner held the camera out in front of them and snapped the picture.

Grinning like a kid and glancing to see how the picture came out, he said, "Thank you," but when he looked up he realized that The Bamboozler was nowhere to be seen. Kutner shrugged, thinking that maybe he had somewhere to go where he had to accomplish another heroic deed.

"Hey, Kutner!"

Kutner looked over to see Taub running over towards him.

"Where were you man?" Kutner showed Taub the digital display of the camera that showed the snapshot of Kutner and The Bamboozler. "You missed him!"

"No, I saw him. I was over there." Taub pointed across the crowd, not really signifying a certain spot, just hoping that Kutner would take the lie.

"I didn't see you over there…what happened to you?"

Taub looked at his reflection in the ambulance's mirror and saw that his face was covered in dirt and residue from the fire, except for where his mask had been, leaving a line that circled around his forehead, beside his eyes and over the bridge of his nose.

"Oh!" Taub rubbed his face, trying to even out the dirt on his face. "I fell on the ground. And I was closer to the fire, so…yeah." Taub looked at his reflection again. The dirt didn't go away, but it was more even on his face, making him look less suspicious because there was no longer a mask-like spot on his face.

"Your clothes are clean…," Kutner said softly.

Crap. Why did Kutner have to be so observant? "We should go now. I think they have it under control."

"But…"

"I'm dirty, tired, and annoyed. And I'm driving. Let's go." Taub took his keys out of his pocket and jingled them in Kutner's face. "Come on."

Kutner sighed and shoved his camera back into his pocket and followed behind Taub to where they had parked Taub's car.

Closing his eyes and breathing fresh air, Taub was thankful that he had avoided that almost exposure to Kutner. He had to be more careful.

--

Somewhere, not too far away, the once dormant monster awoke. It was time.

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**Cliffhanger! Kutner is so loveable. I refuse to let him go. I actually got a little sad while writing this. Anywho, review?**

**~Rev**


	4. Chapter 4

**Another update, although this is mostly filler. I needed something to help get point A to point B.**

**But regardless, let me know what you thought :)**

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Taub slowly opened the door to the diagnostics office, looking in to find it empty. Relieved, he walked in and let his bag fall to the floor and went over to the sink, pushed up his sleeves and washed his hands and arms, then splashed water on his face. He assumed that everybody else was already treating a deathly ill patient that nobody else could treat except for House, and glancing at the clock on the wall he saw that he was an hour late. Slamming his hands on the counter, he cursed, wondering what House would have to say this time. House already was suspicious and Taub was trying to do everything in his power to not give House more reasons for getting onto his case, but he wasn't doing such a good job at it.

_Was it this hard before? _Taub asked himself. He didn't get much time to answer though, because he could hear familiar voices from a distance, approaching from the hallway. Taub hurriedly dried his hands and slipped on his white lab coat, and turned around to see House throwing open the door, letting it clang against the window-like wall with Kutner and Thirteen following behind him. Foreman sauntered in a few seconds later at his own pace.

"There's our Jewish philanderer," House said. "I was wondering when you'd get done with your tryst and come here."

"I'm not having an affair," Taub muttered.

"You don't have to keep a secret from us. I won't make you sign a non-compete." House tapped his cane on the floor. "Tell us about it. Is she hot?"

"House."

"Is _he_ hot?"

Taub sighed and looked away from his boss over to Kutner. Kutner shrugged, and took out his cell phone that had just made a chirping sound, and Thirteen gave Taub a grim smile before sitting down.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Taub realized how it must seem like House could be right. What else could explain his lateness and sudden disappearances? Taub couldn't come up with another explanation, other than the truth of course, which nobody could know.

"Hey! Guys! Listen to this!"

Taub groaned. He was sure Kutner was about to give everyone an update on The Bamboozler.

"It says that there was some kind of traffic jam that was caused by on overturned semi," Kutner explained, reading from his phone. "And The Bamboozler fixed it."

"Wow, what a surprise!" Thirteen said sarcastically. Kutner let his hand drop to his side. Taub noted his slight decline in happiness in the room.

"Fine. When you're trapped in the hospital when it's on fire, don't be surprised when he doesn't come to save you. He'll take me and Taub, then Foreman and House, but he'll leave you." Kutner looked over to Taub. "Right?"

Taub tried to shake his head; no he would not leave Thirteen in the scenario that the hospital were on fire. If he were to leave anybody, it would probably be House and Foreman, but he couldn't because of rule number twenty-two: Don't distinguish between the people you have to save, no matter how much you don't like them.

But of course, Taub could not say that, so instead he asked another question. "Um…but why would the hospital be on fire?"

Foreman scoffed. "Kutner didn't tell you it would be him that caused the fire. It would be from another freak accident with defibrillators."

"Not funny," Kutner sternly said.

Internally, Taub was praying that he would _never_ have to deal with the hospital being on fire. A fire caused by Kutner no less.

--

The day for the most part had been okay. Taub only had to leave work once, and luckily, House didn't find out about his absence. But the next worse person had found out. Well, third worse, because the second worse would be Cuddy and Taub wasn't sure if the Dean of Medicine even knew that he was leaving work occasionally. But Foreman had noticed that Taub had been unaccounted for when the patient had gone into cardiac arrest, and he had tried talking to Taub, asking if anything was wrong. Taub gave him some excuse, which he didn't even remember.

Sighing, Taub paid for his lunch and Kutner's. He tried to remember the first time when Kutner had somehow convinced him to pay for his lunch. He assumed it had been intended as a onetime thing, but now it was a daily habit. The two of them would fill their trays, then Kutner would make a motion to charge them together, then he would leave Taub to pay. He was reminded of how Wilson would always be left at the cashier to pay for House's food.

"Oh my God," Taub muttered as he followed Kutner into the cafeteria seating area. "I'm Wilson."

Kutner turned around. "What?"

Taub shook his head. "Nothing." In the comparison, Taub came to the conclusion that he would much rather be the kind oncologist instead of House.

Taub slid into a seat across from Kutner. The two ate their lunch in silence for a few minutes before Kutner spoke up.

"We're friends, right?"

Taub shrugged. "I guess so." Where was this leading to? Taub somewhat dreaded Kutner's enthusiastic attempts to bond with him, but Taub figured that Kutner was nice enough and sometimes was fun to hang around as long as his secret identity wasn't close to being exposed. Like yesterday.

Kutner bit his bottom lip. "You can talk to me."

"I know."

"Is there anything…you want to tell me?"

Taub looked up to see Kutner's big brown eyes staring at him. By Kutner phrasing his words like that, he obviously knew something that Taub _should_ talk about. Rachel does that all the time. It could be that Kutner figured out his secret, and Kutner wanted Taub to confess to him to him that, yes, he was The Bamboozler, his favorite superhero, and yes, he could give him an autograph.

"Like what?" Taub innocently asked, trying to keep his cool.

Kutner leaned forward. "Is House right?"

"…What?"

"Are you really sleeping around?"

"No!" Taub leaned back in his seat and let out an exasperated sigh. Why did everyone have to accuse him of that?

"You're not?" Kutner asked incredulously.

"What would make you think that I am?"

"Because…," Kutner started. "Because House is usually right."

"Well, he's wrong this time." Taub quickly glanced down at his wedding band. "I wouldn't do that to Rachel again."

"You love her," Kutner said matter-of-factly.

"Obviously."

"How did you know?"

Taub remembered Kutner's unusual emotions from yesterday. Taub assumed that Kutner was harboring some secret feelings for Thirteen.

"You just know." And that was the best way Taub could explain how you know when you love someone.

Kutner considered the advice for a moment and then nodded. Taub knew that Kutner wasn't totally satisfied with that answer, but Kutner didn't ask anything else, so Taub didn't offer to say anything else.

--

It wasn't exactly sure where it was, but it was gathering information about its whereabouts. It looked down, seeing the pitiful excuse for a body. It remembered everything; why it ended up this way, and what it was before, and who it really was. It pained him, because he knew it was its fault, and there wasn't anything it could do to take it back. Before it had failed and been defeated. It was time to try again, and this time, get it right.

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**Thanks for keeping up with this! :) Thank you to everyone that has reviewed and put this on alert and what not, but as usual, let me know what you think :)**

**~Rev**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Another update! Yay! Thanks to all who review and that alert this. But don't be shy, tell me how you feel!**

**I'm finally getting to where I want in the story, so I'm happy.**

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When Taub came home, he was surprised to find Rachel awake and sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at her folded hands. Taub stopped mid-stride in the door way, holding his tie in his hand that he had just slid out from beneath his collar.

"What are you still doing up?" Taub asked.

Rachel looked up and grinned, but her eyes were not smiling. Instead, they were full of what Taub identified as worry. Taub was praying at the moment that House was not his normal self and didn't call and inform her about his concerns about Taub's accused infidelity. Not that House cared about Rachel, but he would annoy Taub and make things difficult for him and Taub had known House long enough to not put it past him to do something like that.

"You want to sit Chris?" she asked. Taub saw it more as an order than a question, however.

But Taub slipped into the chair opposite of Rachel anyway. Rachel hung her head and sighed, her chest rising then falling. Taub leaned forward with his elbow on the table, his hand propping up the side of his face, knuckles rubbing against his cheekbone.

"What is it?" Taub asked. He had long ago sworn off using his powers on his wife; it just wasn't right to read into her emotions. It would be like he was cheating at a game if he did. But right now was one of the times when he wished that he did.

"I have some news," she began, still looking at her hands in her lap.

"What?"

"I…" Rachel looked up and shifted her shoulders in to a sort of shrug. "I'm pregnant."

Taub was at a complete loss for words. Even though it's something that he's wanted, it came as a tremendous shock. It was unexpected, and definitely not planned, so to have Rachel telling him that in this manner was too much.

"Um," Taub said after he regained his composure. "When did you-"

"Today."

Taub nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm _sure_ I'm pregnant Chris."

"Okay." He mulled over the thoughts in his mind. "So, what are we going to do? Are you going to…because I know you didn't want…"

Rachel shook her head. "I could never kill it. And I didn't want to have a kid, but it looks like we might have to now." She bit her bottom lip before continuing. "I know it will be hard, with you being a superhero, and that we're not as young as we used to be… And I know I had my misgivings about having a kid, but if I am going to have one…I'm glad it's with you."

Taub pushed back his chair and walked around the table and wrapped his arms around Rachel.

"Thank you."

--

"Why, Tiny Taub, don't you look extra happy today?" House said with a smirk as he limped over to the whiteboard with a marker in hand. "Good night with the mistress?"

Taub rolled his eyes, letting the comment roll off of his back. "It says on his chart that there's amnesia. That would have to be either neurological or trauma." Taub took a lesson from what many kids learned when they were being bullied: if you ignore what they say and don't react, the bully would get bored and move on once they know what they do doesn't bother you.

House winked. "Nice deflection."

But of course, House wasn't your normal anything.

"It's only short term amnesia though," Thirteen said sitting down. "I talked with him earlier and he only can't remember recent events."

"How recent?" House asked.

Thirteen shrugged. "He said that he could remember most of today, but the rest he can't."

Foreman turned his chair around backwards and leaned his chin on the back of the backrest. "Today? Did he just come in today?"

House mercifully nodded as Thirteen explained. "It's _interesting_ though. He also presented with psychosis."

"That's not that interesting," Taub muttered.

"It's not. I was lying. The truth is that Cuddy made me take this case because this guy's some big shot," House said nonchalantly.

Taub peered down at the file. "Ron Jenkins? He was in the running to be governor last year!"

"Oh, that's where I knew him from!"

Taub didn't find House's sarcasm funny today. This was such a waste of time. He could be out preventing crimes or he could be home with Rachel.

"This is what is going to happen," House began. "We're going to talk about pointless possible things that could be wrong with this guy, then you two," House said pointing at Taub and Kutner, "are going to go get him an MRI, or something, to prove to Cuddy that this guy has nothing physiological wrong with him, then we ship him off to the psych ward. Ta da."

Three minutes later, Taub and Kutner headed out of the conference room and went towards the patient's room. They walked side by side without talking, but as soon as the elevator doors closed, leaving them in private, Kutner broke the silence.

"So what's up?"

"Uh, nothing. Why?" Taub asked.

"About what House said. He's right, you do seem more cheerful," Kutner pointed out.

The elevator chimed and the two doctors walked out as the doors slid open. Taub thought of _what_ was making him happy; the fact that the woman he loved was carrying a child of his that he had been wanting for so long, and despite what House said, he was in a very healthy relationship with his wife. Taub contemplated telling Kutner the news, but then he thought otherwise – he didn't want others to know just yet.

Kutner had stopped in front of the patient's room, waiting for Taub's response.

"It's just a happy day," Taub said dryly as he walked past Kutner and into the room.

Jenkins had his wrists restrained to the sides of the bed, and looked up anxiously when he heard Kutner and Taub enter the room.

"I'm Dr. Taub and this is Dr. Kutner and we also working on your case for Dr. House," Taub said. Jenkins barely waited until he had finished talking before bursting out in what seems like a speech he had prepared before the doctor had entered the room.

"I've been here for five hours, and I've been seen by many doctors and I have no answers. I should be getting better treatment than this, and that's just not because I am a politician, but because I'm a human being." Jenkins tried waving his hands, but it didn't serve much purpose since his hands were hopelessly tied down. "I've lost my memory, and every time I got to sleep, I have these horrible visions-"

"Hallucinations," Kutner said.

"No, I know what those are like," Jenkins said simply. "They feel so _real_."

"Then…delusions," Taub offered.

"No!" Jenkins sighed. "I'm asleep when it happens. I wake up, and they're gone. It's only been happening since I lost my memory, and these aren't your normal nightmares. They are terrifying." He looked up in desperation. "You have to make them stop."

Taub looked sideways at Kutner before looking back at Jenkins. "I guess we can let you sleep in the sleep lab so we can investigate it some more."

"Thank you," Jenkins said, exasperated.

Leaving the room and sliding the door shut behind him, Kutner threw his head back, motioning towards that patient's room. "What do you think?"

"What do you mean?" Taub asked. He began walking down the hall, with Kutner scurrying behind him. "Do I think he's crazy? No, not really. But hey, can you do me a favor?"

Kutner shrugged. "Sure."

"Thanks. Can you do the test? I've got to go do something."

Kutner frowned. "Is it where you always disappear to and House thinks you're cheating?"

Taub weighed his answers. If he said no, then he would have to come up with something to appease Kutner's curiosity, but if he said yes, Kutner would know that he didn't want to talk about it, but Kutner might still ask questions. So either way, there were going to be problems.

"Yes, that's it," Taub said.

Kutner nodded, and walked off in the opposite direction. Taub watched him for a few seconds before hurriedly heading to the stairwell so he could slip into the back of the hospital and change into his Bamboozler suit, because there was some disturbance in the city.

* * *

**A/N: I think the chapters are getting shorter and shorter as I go....but anyways, reviews are nice and thanks for reading! :D**


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